the_neer_do_wellsfandomcom-20200213-history
Zinger
James Cordigan McArty Jr., AKA Zinger, is an ex-member of the Civil Rights/Terrorist group Mutants United. He possesses super speed an an inhuman knowledge of bad puns, knock knock jokes, limericks, and awful anecdotes. His current whereabouts are unknown. Born to accountant parents in 1973, young James always had a passion for comedy. His first words were “knock knock.” When his parents had to endure an entire year of “knock knock” until he finally was able to finish the joke. (“Abbie. Abbie who? Abbie Cdefg.”) The joke was so bad that his mother died from embarrassment on the spot. His father, having been in the other room at the time and only caught the end of the joke, was paralyzed from the waist down. That was the moment Little James knew he should go into comedy. He was expelled from High school after refusing to stop making puns out of his fellow students names. This was the last straw for his father, who kicked him out of the house. For the following three years James tried to tell jokes for money the street however this only led to him being severely beaten when he made a joke about a gangster’s pants. The gangsters where going to kill him but were chased off by roving pack of homeless clowns. The clowns took him in as one of their own and help hone his joke telling skills. He was actually pretty good at clowning, as he made most people uncomfortable and/or gave them the desire to beat him within an inch of his life. Before he could don the red nose and become a clown in full, he discovered stand up. He knew that this is what he truly wanted to do , and as the clowns were very anti-standup they said a tearful farewell to the now grown James and went their separate ways. James was not a good standup comedian. He had exactly two gigs before being blacklisted by all comedy clubs everywhere. At his first show he told his own material, which led to an angry mob chasing him out of the building. The second show he blatantly ripped off a Robin Williams routine and the blacklist occurred immediately afterwards. That was when he turned to a life of crime. He robbed stores, and mugged people in alleys all the while telling bad jokes. In fact, he started giving people an option, either listen to his jokes, or give him their money and he’d tell them anyway. He claimed that he was taking revenge on the world for not appreciating his jokes. When the Fey Convergence occurred he gained super speed and immediately began going on a crime spree across the nation. Eventually he came to Sapphire City where he discovered Mutants United and joined up, more to have an excuse to vandalize everything then to actually change anything. He was disliked by everyone in the organization, except Valkyire, who thought he was a philosopher searching for enlightenment. She was also the one who gave him his “Mutant Name” Zinger. Zinger was killed by Angus and Carrion when the Ne’er-Do-Wells first encountered him in (Mutants United). As his powers come from vibrating his molecules at super speeds, when he was no longer holding them together, they separated and he melted into a puddle. This puddle was cleaned up by and claimed by President Dore’s people who, with the help of a brainwashed Nezhzin, electrocuted him back to life. The process was extremely painful and drove Zinger past the point of insanity. When he was no longer controlled by the President he could only speak in limericks and buzzes like a bee. It has taken several months but Zinger completely regained motor and mental question although he does still buzz occasionally. Upon regaining relative sanity, Zinger killed the doctors who were taking care of him while saying the following: “Knock knock who’s there my fist my fist who my fist going through your skull at 80mph!” He then wrote Zing! On the wall in their blood and set out to get his revenge on Angus, who he blames for his death and temporary insanity. Category:Villains